TELECOM Digest OnLine - Sorted: Press Release - This Man's Home IS His Castle!

Press Release - This Man's Home IS His Castle!
Tue, 28 Mar 2006 23:44:06 -0800


Karen Downing: (661)916-2494
Century 21-Yarrow and Associates

This Man's Home IS His Castle!

Antelope Valley, Ca March 29, 2006 - Ever since he was a child, Bob
Knight dreamed that he would one day live in a castle, a magnificent
stone fortress that he would call his own. His not-so-noble father
always said that "a man's home is his castle" and Bob took his dad at
his word. It has taken the better part of his life to fulfill that
dream, but finally Bob has his castle.

Located in a modestly populated subdivision, just outside of the city,
Bob's neo-medieval home combines the aesthetics of a traditional
English castle with the comforts of modern-day living.

"I wanted to recreate an authentic 11th century castle," said
Bob. "Mind you, back then they didn't have centralized heating,
double-paned glass windows, or foam insulation. And I'm fairly certain
electricity was unavailable in that era, except in the rarest of

Bob's castle was built stone by stone, and the drywall was mounted
sheet by sheet.

"I really wanted a moat too, but alas, I'm situated on a
steep hill, and the landscaping didn't make that possible,"
said Bob. "I do have a koi pond in the back yard -- although
it doesn't quite give the same effect."

Forgiving the asphalt driveway, the wall-to-wall carpet, and the gas
fireplace, Bob's castle is more-or-less authentic. The superficial
differences were mostly the result of reticent building inspectors.

"I would've installed a portcullis at the front door," said Bob, "but
they're a little heavy, and I heard what happened to this man's poodle
when the lift latch failed. Iron bars would have been nice, but I
settled on an iron-bound solid oak door with support braces, a
ghoulish doorknocker, and a mail slot."

Knight's castle has a two-cart garage with a remote-controlled door
that drops down like a drawbridge, a fully functional dungeon complete
with a torture room which doubles as a rec-room, and several dank
cells ideal for uninvited in-laws. There's even an entertainment room
with a 50" plasma television, a pool table, and an armory.

Although mostly for appearances, Bob's castle is also fitted with an
operational siege defense system, which includes turrets, murder
holes, and crossbow mounts. The defenses are perfect when being
assaulted by neighborhood kids selling chocolate-covered almonds and
raffle tickets for their sports teams. And there are stone gargoyles
attached to the south wall to scare away annoying Girl Scouts.

"I can also pour boiling pitch on nosy neighbors, pesky door-to-door
salesmen, or Jehovah's Witnesses," said Bob. "Although the city has
already warned me twice about doing that--mainly because the acrid
smoke from the burning pitch violates local pollution by-laws."

Bob recently added a trebuchet to his courtyard for use as a disposal
mechanism. "I just catapult my garbage into the city landfill, or into
the neighbor's yard," Bob said.

To complete the look to his castle, Bob is considering a few add-ons,
including an archery range, a secret escape tunnel, and a wizard's
tower that will be tall enough to provide him decent satellite

This story appeared on on the web.

Karen Downing is a licensed real estate agent at Yarrow & Associates
in Lancaster, CA and can be reached via e-mail,,
cell phone 661-916-2494 or via the message form on her website,

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