TELECOM Digest OnLine - Sorted: Last Laugh! Funny Real Estate Stories

Last Laugh! Funny Real Estate Stories
Fri, 10 Feb 2006 22:01:04 -0800

Karen Downing: (661)916-2494
Century 21-Yarrow and Associates

More Funny Real Estate Stories!

Antelope Valley, Ca. - February 9, 2006 - Here are some more funny
real estate tales.

A residential sales associate was in the final stages of closing on a
$2 million townhouse close to South Street Seaport.

Upon reaching the penthouse level during the final walk-through with
her buyers, they discovered a squatter comfortably sleeping on an

Woken by the shriek of the prospective buyers, the unwelcome guest
glanced at a small alarm clock next to his emptied liquor bottles and
said, "Do you have an appointment?" E.P., Dallas TX

About a year ago, I took a sophisticated and wealthy gentleman to see
luxury apartments. He picked me up with a limo and I showed him about
six places, each more elaborate than the last. Money seemed to be no

At the end of the day he said he would take a place and was eager to
follow up the next day. He offered to take me in the limo to where I
was going but on the way needed to stop at a gourmet food store. He
ordered thousands of dollars in prepared foods.

As we waited in line, police and FBI agents suddenly ran in and
shouted for everyone to stand back. It turned out that my client
was a high-profile fugitive and we had been followed all day by
the FBI. I stood there stunned saying over and over, "I'm just
the broker ... I'm just the broker."

As he was taken away in handcuffs, he slipped me his info and
said he'd call me for an apartment shortly. L.R., Cleveland, OH

A fellow agent and I were showing a client an apartment. I had
shown her approximately 25 properties and we finally found "the

She was filling out an application when the doorbell rang. Vasco
opened the door when a man in a canvas jumper holding a strange
spray tank announced "Roaches!"

We said, "Excuse me?" to which the man (obviously an exterminator)
responded, "Roaches!"

Needless to say we were horrified and the client continued her
search elsewhere. K.P., Newark, NJ

I was locked out on a fire escape in a Park Avenue building.
This was in the days before cell phones.

I was trapped out there with a buyer for a long time and we were
getting very cold. We finally dropped one of our shoes with a note in
it down to the street in the hope that the doorman would see
it. Instead, we hit someone on the head with it and it created a huge
stir. We were finally rescued when the note was found. S.D. Merrick, NY

This was a classic case. A developer bought and gut renovated a
brownstone. The ground-floor garden-level apartment entrance
under the stoop had been redone, too.

We went to do the walk-through before the closing and realized
that there was no way the buyer's furniture would fit through
the door, nor was there a way to get it through the back.

The only things that would fit were items that could be carried
in your arms like pots and pans. A table, bed, etc. just would
not fit.

The closing was adjourned, the developer chiseled away at the
door about a foot and a half and when it was done, we inspected
and it closed.

That's why an inspection is important before the closing. The
saying is, "you own the problem after the closing. Before the
closing, the seller owns the problem. U.O., Miami, FL

I had a buyer go to a co-op board interview with his dog. Their
dog was badly behaved and yipped constantly so I was very nervous,
and I told them to give the dog a Valium.

When the dog got to the interview, he fell asleep and at the end
they couldn't wake him up. The buyer had to carry the dog out.
The co-op board didn't think he would be a problem because he
slept all the time. D.S., Phoenix, AZ

Karen Downing is a licensed real estate agent at Yarrow &
Associates in Lancaster, CA and can be reached via e-mail,, cell phone 661-916-2494 or via the message
form on her website,

[TELECOM Digest Editor's Note: This was a refeshing change of pace
from the 'dog serves as a ground, gets electrocuted and causes
phone bell to ring (in Scotland, UK, Canada, Indiana or wherever)
jokes I so often see here. I can tell you my mother and father lived
a few blocks away on 11th and Sycamore Streets until he passed on in
1991, then a couple years later my mother moved over to the house where
I live now. She went through a realtor to sell the old house, but for
some reason, no one thought to _get underneath the house_ and look at
the water pipes. New family closed on the deal, then a month or two
later went to check it out and found one very rusty old water pipe
under the house; still holding together but likely to develop a leak
at any time. Realtor came back to my mother and tried to get _her_ to
pay for the repairs. Mother said no way; it was their job, as the
buyers to examine everything prior to closing, but she insisted she
did not know about the rusted pipe under the house to start with. The
realtor told mother she would get sued, mother said 'okay, let them
sue me in that case', but of course the new owners never did sue. PAT]

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